It is midnight. Approximately 2 hours ago, Amy and I were in a restaurant with some friends and I said, "We have to go home; I'm falling asleep." I am still awake. So, as you might have guessed, is my daughter. An hour ago, Amy fell asleep. Since then, The Baby has been alternating between sleeping, crying and emitting various noxious substances -- gaseous, liquid, and solid -- from various parts of her body. She has gone through at least 5 diapers, 3 or 4 burp clothes, and a change of clothes; and I've changed my shirt 3 times.
If I pay you money, will you come do something with this baby so that I can sleep?