If this baby were the editor of a newspaper (like, say, the Baby Bugle or the Infant Intelligencer, or maybe even the Diaper Daily) or a magazine (the Wee Weekly?) the articles would be along the lines of:
Cheerios: Are they for dropping, smashing, grinding into the rug, or just sucking on until they’re sticky?
Identifying the best playthings: How to spot dangerous items like electric cords and small bits of plastic in a room full of toys.
Arching your back, screaming, and grabbing Mom’s hair: How to make a diaper change as difficult as possible.
Guest Columnist: It’s All About the Cute, by The Cat.
ETA: Amy says I should add some news articles, since the above are all more like features. How about:
Breaking News: The Cat is in the Dining Room!
Fluffy Puppy Replaces Bear as Preferred Stuffie
No! I'm Not Hungry!
Update: The Cat is in the Living Room!
No! I'm Still Not Hungry!
The Swing is No Longer Interesting
No! I Don't Want Any Food!
Update: The Cat is in the Bedroom!
Time to Go? NOW I'm Hungry!