Sunday, January 11, 2009

I'm a failure

I am a failure. Not in general, but at this parenting blog thing. I almost never seem to be able to update this blog. I let months and months go by without posting a thing.

Someday I will regret it. Someday, when I'm trying to remember exactly how old my daughter was when she stopped saying, "Oh, yes" and started instead saying "Yeah." Someday, when I'm trying to remember when it was she started understanding pronouns. ("Is this your book?" "My book." "Is this your hat?" "Mommy's hat.") Or when it was when she started calling me "Mommy" and Amy "Mama," instead of calling us (and pretty much everyone else) "Mamamamma" or "Dadadadadadada." I'll regret it when I try to remember -- When did she learn to shake her head for yes and no? How old was she when she first announced that she wanted to sit on the potty? When did she first insisting on eating with a spoon, and then with a fork? (She insists on them, but doesn't always use them.) At how many months did she start saying "danks" almost every time you gave her something? When exactly was it when she started pointing and almost everything and saying "dis" and "dat?" When did that change to just "dat" and when did the ubiquitous "dat" become rare, because she knew enough words to call almost everything by name? When did she first kiss me? When did she first hug me? When did she first go on the swings? Slide down the slide by herself?

Or maybe I won't regret it. Do I need to remember the exact day, or even the exact month, each of those things happened? Maybe I just need to remember the feeling, the experience, the timelessness of each of those moments. That's hard to forget.